


I Found Love Right in Front of Me

by JYNXXX



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bottom Loki (Marvel), Incest, M/M, Mpreg, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, takes place after endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-01 05:19:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18793795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JYNXXX/pseuds/JYNXXX
Summary: Thanos was the monster Thor could never really escape from. Thanos ruined Thor's world, killed his people, murdered his brother, made him fearful to close his eyes at night in fear of what he would see. Although he fought everyday to overcome his demons, even though he was revered as a hero by bringing those people back after the snap....he couldn't do anything about Loki. That's what tormented him the most, why he gave up being a King, why he gave up everything. What sort of god was he, what king, what brother would let their sibling die so painfully like that in front of them?But this was his chance to redeem himself, to heal. Cause Loki was alive and here with open arms. Except not really, cause this Loki was not the one Thor knew before. No, Thor had never met this Loki before.





	1. Chapter 1

I'll use you as a warning sign,

That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind.

And I'll use you as a focal point,

So I don't lose sight of what I want.

And I've moved further than I thought I could.

But I missed you more than I thought I would.

And I'll use you as a warning sign,

That if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind.

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be,

Right in front of me,

Talk some sense to me.

I Found by Amber Run

 

Loki was different. In everything and everywhere he went. He realized that now, no matter how he presented himself; he would always be a black sheep in a sea of white. Even in his homeland Jotunheim, he was unlike all the others.

But being different wasn’t always too terrible. It had its perks, especially when people saw his different qualities as a sign of blessings; that he was gifted and should be revered as a god, which he absolutely was. But not all saw his differences in such a rose-colored light, he learned that growing up in Asgard. In Asgard, his differences were shunned while the masses turned their sights on the golden glow of his brother, Thor.

It’s not like he could entirely blame them. But he did, however, try and pretend it didn’t matter. ‘Try’ being the important word. But now that he was much, much older; he realizes it really didn’t matter. What matters is _this_ , the tesseract.

The blue cube that changed Loki’s life entirely. He remembered when Thanos demanded he obtain the cube and bring it back to him. How laughable, like Loki would ever entertain the idea. Loki _did not_ work for anybody but himself. And he was certainly not intimidated by Thanos. What would a god have to fear from a man such as him? Loki could think of nothing.

He twirled the tesseract between his hands, marveling the blue galaxy within its’ walls.

“You should hide that better; we don’t want it falling into the wrong hands.” Yue gave him a pointed look with his almond eyes.

Loki grins, “I’m sure most would already argue it has.”

The assassin offers a snort of agreement before turning back to creating his poison. “How much longer are you staying here?”

“Is that my command to leave?”

Yue tossed his long silken hair over his shoulder, “No, I’m just curious since you love to disappear whenever you like. And I’m never sure if I should be worried someone has kidnapped you or if you are up to your usual mischief. So a fair warning before you jump to another world would be appreciated.”

Loki leaves his perch near the window to head towards his room, “I will most likely be gone by tomorrow morning.”

“Where will you go to?” Yue’s question is more of a demand for an answer than a curious inquiry. He eyes Loki hard with his stare.

Loki stops in his tracks and turns back around to face the beautiful Prince…oh wait, he was King now. Sometimes Loki forgets what happens in each reality, but in this one, Yue has already murdered his father and brothers and taken the thrown. Good for him.

“I will be jumping to another reality. So I wouldn’t bother following me if that is your intention.”

“It’s not.” Yue licks the dust of poison off his fingers, the toxic substance would do no harm to him it seems. “You know it’s not safe to travel between realities. You don’t know what will ever happen, what you might change, or if you will become lost or stuck.”

“But that’s exactly the thrill of it!” Loki loved exploring other realities, seeing how the worlds differed so vastly from each other, and sometimes it appeared as if nothing had changed at all. “You know, in one reality you tried to kill me.”

Yue offered a devious smile, “It seems you forgot I tried to kill you in this one as well.”

No, Loki hadn’t. He doesn’t think it’s possible for him to forget that night.

Their conversation dwindles off there so Loki navigated his way to the guest room where all his stuff was neatly packed and ready to go. He used his magic to shrink his suitcase down to the size of a walnut and stuck it in his pocket. It was much easier carrying it this way.

He then looked down to the warm tesseract in his hands. Yue’s warning to keep it better hidden sounded quite logical, so Loki disguised it as a sapphire ring which sat snugly on his index finger. He then made himself cozy under the covers, knowing quite well it might be the last time he sleeps in such a nice bed for a while.

\-----------------------------

This reality was nothing like the others. Everything was different, almost completely unrecognizable. Midgard was…chaotic. Everything and everyone seemed to be in recovery from some horrific disaster; which Loki didn’t have the slightest idea of what it was. Midgard was even now the home to Asgard. Well, it wasn’t really Asgard but all the remaining Asgardians now lived here.

Loki decided to stay clear of the area, not wanting to risk running into himself or his brother Thor. Loki came to realize that in nearly all realities, he was always conniving and cunning. A rather risky person to be around since he knew if anybody would be capable of snatching the tesseract away from him, it would be…well, himself.

And as for Thor…well he just never knew what to anticipate with his brother. In some realities he was weirdly shy and weak, others he was arrogant and cruel, in most he was the same as always. But it was better to watch him from afar first before approaching and playing any tricks on the thunder god.

But this time, Loki decided he wanted to venture to other parts of this reality. Everything on Earth was so different, and perhaps the entirety of the rest of the universe was the same. So Loki jumped from planet to planet, civilization to civilization, always causing mischief and having a blast. He was right; nothing was as he knew it before here. And yet, Loki was still always the odd one, never quite fitting in anywhere he traveled too.

He took a sip from his fizzling drink that was a disturbing shade of neon blue. He dealt in another stack of gold coins, his opponents looking shaken as his confidence. The two on his left and right folded their cards, cursing him under their breath. But his last and final victim laid right in front of him. The gruesome looking gremlin shared a nasty smile full of pointed teeth. He believed he would win. Clearly he didn’t yet realize Loki was obviously cheating. They showed their cards, the smile quickly running off the troll’s face as Loki slid his treasure towards himself. It always made Loki’s night to ruin someone else’s.

“Loki!” It was a booming cry. Well…not really, but the way it carried and cut through the air like thunder, it might as well have been. Thor looked to him from across the room, a strange expression contorting his face. Loki nearly didn’t recognize him as his brother charged through the crowd towards him. The audience parted like the red sea for him. Loki stood up hastily from his chair; Thor stopped in front of him, a million different emotions flittering within his eyes. But there was such a heavy sadness to it all, disbelief, pain, all mixed in with a swell of hope.

Thor’s hands are gentle as they reach for Loki’s shoulders, like he wasn’t sure if they would pass through him or not. When they made solid contact, the god of thunder lost himself. He pulled Loki in tight towards his hard chest as he broke down into raucous sobs. Loki was paralyzed, hardly knowing what he was supposed to do in this situation. His brother’s grip was gentle, as if frightened he might break Loki if he squeezes too hard. It would be easy to simply break free from his grasp and run. But Loki couldn’t. The excruciating pain his brother was experiencing made Loki’s own heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest. He couldn’t just…run away and leave him here like this!

The crowd stared at them with wide confused eyes. Loki returned their gazes with his own, patting his brother’s back awkwardly with one hand.

Thor pulls back with heavy tear tracks running down his cheeks into his bread. He smiles with actual true happiness…perhaps these were tears of joy rather than anguish, or maybe both.

He strokes Loki’s hair tenderly, “Oh look! You grew your hair out, it looks beautiful on you. Just like when we-“ He choked on his own sobs, trying to gather himself again before crumbling once more, “Loki, I’m so happy you are alive.”

He cups his younger brother’s face before they are interrupted by an enraged squeal of a troll, “You cheated!” He throws Loki’s cards down, his real cards, not the ones with fake images on them which he conjured. He launches himself at Loki, intent to rip his throat out with all those sharpened and mangled teeth quite evident. That was before he was thrown back to the other end of the room with one mighty swing of Thor’s hammer. Lightening crackled around him in his fury, the last thing seen before the storm erupted.

It was chaos, as would be presumed. Knives and other miscellaneous objects were thrown about as projectiles, punches made contacts with scarred faces, bodies smashed into furniture and walls. Loki avoided it all, skirting around the room in search for a quick and painless exit. He spotted one in a far corner and quickly ventured towards it. He was so close to freedom, so very close, when a giant’s hand gripped his waist and hauled him over its’ battle scarred head. It roared, Loki preparing his magic to tear the monstrous being in two. He didn’t get the chance. Thor blasted the man into pieces, scattering his blood across the entire room. Loki fell down from the air, Thor waiting beneath to catch him. They shared a look before Thor bolted out in haste along with his strange crew of friends. They jumped into their ship and away they took off into the stars.

\------------------------------------------------

It was a puzzling situation. One that Loki could easily get himself out of if he truly wanted too, but Loki’s cursed flaw was how curious of a person he was. He had questions, so many, and very little answers. For now that is. But he will whittle them all out, once Thor was done hugging him and spitting out all these silly words. Words like “I can’t believe you are alive! I swore you dead!”

Dead? Him? Loki, the God and Prince of Asgard, perished? How ludicrous. And yet, it made a shiver travel up his spine because…well, Loki had never thought he could die, but perhaps in this reality he truly was.

A mangy looking…rabbit? Squirrel? Loki wasn’t sure what it was, but it came wearily towards Thor’s side and bumped his leg, “Hey, Pretty boy? Who is this?”

Loki raised an eyebrow at the fact the creature could speak.

“Oh!” Thor finally pulled back and tried to gather himself. He was beaming as he stared at Loki before turning to address the others. He beckoned with a hand, “This is my brother, Loki!” He pulled his younger sibling tight to his side. It was becoming quite apparent the God of thunder did not want Loki straying very far from him.

Thor motioned to the others as he made introductions, “Loki, this is Drax, Peter-“

“Star Lord!”

Thor grumbled, “Ah yes, Star Lord, whatever.” He moved on to the rest, “Mantis, Nebula, Groot, and Rocket. He’s a raccoon by the way.”

A raccoon, fascinating. Now that it was mentioned, Loki did vaguely remember seeing the creatures on a few visits he made to Midgard.

Rocket piped up, “Um, not to be the bearer of bad news but Thor, are you sure this is your brother?”

Thor was affronted, “Of course this is Loki! I would know my brother anywhere!”

Well that couldn’t really be argued, he was indeed Loki. He just wasn’t the one Thor thought him to be.

Star Lord was on the rat’s side, “Yea, how do you know he’s not just an imposter? Are you sure he doesn’t just look similar to your brother and you are confused?”

Thor was furious now, “I know what Loki looks like! And this is him!”

“I am Groot.”

The tree’s words had him floundering for a second, “What do you mean he doesn’t seem to recognize me? Loki, please help me defend you here. You know who I am, and you are my brother.”

Loki was silent and frozen, still trying to take in as much as he could and formulate a plan. Sure, he could just be honest and explain everything truthfully, but that would hardly be any fun. But pretending he _was_ the Loki his brother thought him to be, that could be quite the entertaining show, so long as he played his cards right. Which means he had to choose his words carefully.

“Thor…you just seem so different.” These were safe words. From the way Thor had been acting and the words he spilled, it has been quite some time since they last seen each other. And Thor was hardly the brother he recognized. He could argue with this.

An understanding light glimmered in the depth of Thor’s eyes. He smiled and laughed, beckoning to himself, “You’re right! Oh god, Loki, no wonder you hardly know who I am. The hair, the eye.” He pointed to his eye which was now brown instead of ocean blue. And his hair was long, longer than Loki had ever seen it, brushing the top of Thor’s back. The golden locks were styled dashingly in braids along one side of his head while the rest laid loose. His brother was still heartbreakingly beautiful, despite how different he had become.

Nebula stepped forward, “So how did you survive my father’s attack?”

Her father? Who exactly was her father?

The audience looked to him for an answer. One he couldn’t really supply since he had no idea who they were talking about, how he died, or even when it happened. He wasn’t even sure if the true Loki from this reality _was_ dead, but he had certainly fooled everyone, including his brother, into believing he was.

As Loki’s silence dragged on, Thor grew more concerned and pulled Loki closer to him by the waist. “Brother? Please tell us, we just want to know how.” Thor swallowed heavily, “I swore you dead when Thanos-“ A sort of blankness washed over his brother’s face, which he saw the God of thunder fight through, “When Thanos- he-“ he was choking over his words, something painful blocking their way and he watched his brother’s façade threaten to crumble as his eyes gaze in fear towards Loki’s neck.

Loki pulled away, “Thanos?” Oh, perhaps he should hide his disgust and anger a little more. But really, he just couldn’t because of how insulted he felt by the thought of it all. “Thanos killed me? _That_ idiot?  The thought itself is reviling and wholly impossible because that man can never kill a God such as I!”

The ship was silent…as to be expected from Loki’s outburst. Thor was especially puzzled by his words, “Loki? Do you not remember?”

Of course he didn’t, because none of it ever happened to him.

“Thor.” There was a warning in Peter’s voice; he certainly believed something was fishy here. But his dearest brother, Thor…the man just couldn’t see what he didn’t want to see. Which worked entirely in Loki’s favor.

He moved back towards Loki’s side and cupped his face, “It’s okay if you don’t remember! Sometimes…sometimes its better not to remember, Loki.” Oh what pain trembled in his brother’s voice. He was suffering…he had never seen the God of thunder nearly so broken before. And it hurt Loki too…surprisingly. He felt his own heart shatter watching his brother fight some hidden inner demon.

Loki played along with it all, “When I woke up…I didn’t know what memories were true or false. Sometimes I felt the memories I had weren’t even my own…and there are things I can’t seem to remember.”

It was vague but detailed enough to satisfy. Thor pulled Loki to his chest, stroking Loki’s long hair with his fingers, “It’s ok now Loki. You are safe now. I’m gonna make sure that nothing…that no one can ever hurt you again. Okay? I won’t let it happen to you again.”

Did Loki feel a sense of guilt from lying? Or course he did, already he was doubting his plans of trickery. But it’s not like he could turn back now, and it’s not like this would go on forever.

\------------------------------------

 The night was growing late and soon everyone would probably drift off to their beds. They had spent the evening playing cards, reminiscing over past adventures, and figuring out how they would find ‘Gamora’, apparently Star Lord’s lady and nebula’s sister. It was a nice night, everybody laughing and happy, especially Thor. He was also growing more and more drunk, it seems even in this reality he loved to celebrate by drinking as much beer as he possibly could. He was also incredibly protective.

Loki was use to being different, it was an inescapable fate of his. Even on this ship full of misfits, many casted weary glances in his directions, or sometimes asked pointed or suspicious questions. Thor always came to his rescue, shielding him away from them, even though they meant no harm.

Strange…considering how every Thor he met before this would hardly ever considering defending their brother. No, most of them led the taunts directed at him. Especially the one he grew up with, that Thor seemed to love watching Loki be jeered at.

“Loki? Would you like me to take you to our room? You seem tired.”

He nodded, “Yes, that would be for the best. I have a lot to take in.”

Thor lead him up and away from the others to a far off corner on the ship. His bed was small, looking more like a bench jutting out from the ship’s wall rather than a place for a prince to sleep. Prince…Thor should actually be King now, with his people that have made a new home on Midgard. Very odd he was now up here with this rag-tag team finding a missing girlfriend.

Thor pushed him to sit on the bed, “Here, you sleep here okay? I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Loki looked with doubt at the couch, “That’s even smaller; I don’t believe you will fit.”

“I’ve slept in worse places.” He goes to the dresser and pulls out an oversized T-shirt, clearly from Earth, and some baggy pajama bottoms.

Loki stripped and Thor followed his suit. Loki liked the baggy t-shirt, but he didn’t tend to like sleeping with pajama bottoms. Thor decided to wear them instead while leaving his sculpted chest bare for the rest of the world to admire.

Loki sat back down on the bed and used his fingers to comb the knots out of his hair. Thor sat down next to him and used his own fingers to help; he was significantly more gentle doing it than Loki was.

“You look so beautiful with your hair this long Loki, I think the last time it was this long you were but a child.” He was right, Loki’s hair now ended near the small of his back, long and dark with curls and waves flowing through it. “Mother use to love your hair when it was like this. She was so devastated the day you decided to chop it all off cause you had a tantrum.” Thor laughed at that memory and Loki smiled too, because he remembers just what Thor was talking about.

His brother suddenly reaches up and parts the hair on the side of his head and begins to braid. Loki stiffened, a bit startled by the tender act. “I use to remember watching mother braid your hair like this in the gardens while you practiced your magic.”

Yes, she did use to do this. Shocking that Thor was doing it now. Braiding another person’s hair…well, it might seem relatively normal to most, but in Asgard braiding another’s hair was quite an intimate act. Not necessarily sexual, just hinted at a close relationship. Dear friends would do it for each other, mothers for their children, and yes….brothers as well. But Thor and Loki were never close enough, nor willing to do such an act for the other. It made Loki’s cheeks flush just the tiniest bit as his older brother weaved his hair together. Perhaps Thor was more drunk that Loki assumed.

When Thor was done he gave Loki one last smile and brushed the back of his hand along his cheek. “You should get some rest brother. Today was a long day.”

Thor moved to turn off the lights and curled up on his tiny couch, which groaned under his weight. Loki snickered before climbing under the covers and letting his eyes fall heavy.

\------------------------------

It must have been only a couple hours before Loki found himself awake again. A noise urging him to see what was happening. It was Thor, calling out his name in painful moans. He was dreaming, of something truly frightful by the way his brother kept twisting and crying in his sleep.

“Please don’t…No, not Loki..Loki…stop-“

Loki laid gentle hands on his brother’s arms and called to him quietly, trying to wake him from his slumber gracefully. He was unsuccessful as Thor bolted up with a gargled yell, panic coating his face along with a sheen of sweat. Loki pulled the God’s face to look at him, “Thor! Everything’s fine, calm down and just look at me.”

“Loki.” He said it as if Loki was his shinning ray of hope. He was ecstatic yet still so fearful. His fumbling hands groped Loki everywhere, pulling him close and stroking him, looking for fatal wounds. “Loki, oh Loki.” He gripped his brother’s neck gently, searching for the bruises Thanos must have left behind. Searching for a pulse. Searching for proof his brother was really alive and in front of him.

Thor stands abruptly and tugs Loki painfully to his solid chest, no longer being gentle as adrenaline pulsed through his system. “Don’t worry Loki, you’re safe. I’ll keep you safe.” His eyes suddenly searched the room, looking for an enemy that was nowhere in sight, “Thanos-“

Loki cut him off, “He’s dead Thor. Remember…he’s dead. You killed him.”

Loki knew he was right, hence why he was so confident in the words. He asked enough people to figure out Thanos was successful in his plans for this reality, wiping out half of the living population before the Asgardians killed him and fixed everything. His brother being one of the heroes people couldn’t stop talking about.

But damn, Loki wished Thanos _was_ still alive right now. Just so he could kill him himself. He would have loved to exact some revenge.

Thor came down slowly from his dream, “You’re right. Thanos is dead. He’s dead.” He laid his head on Loki’s shoulder, his breaths growing shaky and worrying Loki even more.

“Come on, let’s get into bed. Come on.” Loki tugged him along and Thor followed obediently to the small bed. He laid down with Loki’s gentle guidance, and Loki crawled in next to him.

Thor was right, the bed was small, their bodies pressed entirely together while their legs entwined. It wasn’t bad though, Thor seemed to relax with Loki being so close.

“I’ll keep you safe Loki. I promise, I won’t let him hurt you.”

Loki wanted to argue back that he wasn’t the one haunted by Thanos. The one who needed protection right now was Thor, the man still terribly frightened by past demons. But he didn’t say any of those things; he didn’t want to hurt Thor when he was like this. It really did hurt to see his brother so weak beneath him.

“Shhhh.” Loki placed a kiss to Thor’s forehead, with a spell attached to give him only the sweetest of dreams, “Everything is okay Thor. I’m here.” He let Thor rest his head against his chest, so even in his dreams he could hear the beat of his brother’s heart, proof he still lived.

But that was all a lie, cause Loki was truly dead and gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it :)
> 
> please leave comments of what you think or questions below. I will respond back as soon as I can <3
> 
> Just to allow some clarification on how Loki is using the tesseract in this story. The tesseract allows an individual to travel through space. Which means it can allow a person to travel through the space separating different realities. So Loki uses it to travel and explore through these different realities.
> 
> It does not allow a person to travel to the past or the future.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki woke to Thor pressed hard against his back with his massive thigh shoved far up between his own. Well, it wasn’t a position Loki was wholly inexperienced to - just not use to doing it with Thor. The old Thor never used to stay and cuddle. Wait, is that what we are calling him now? Old Thor? And what Thor is this behind Loki now? The new and improved Thor with the addition of psychological trauma at the value price of getting sobbed on whenever Thanos is mentioned?

Thor hiked his thigh up even further in his sleep, pressing it hard against Loki’s cunt and shaft. Loki groaned at the action and placed a hand against Thor’s knee, pushing down in hopes of taking some of the pressure off his groin. But it didn’t budge. He huffed before laying there for a couple more minutes contemplating his options.

To be frank, if this was happening in his previous reality, he probably would have rubbed himself off on the thick and muscular thigh. But he didn’t do that now because one - he wasn’t horny, mostly just tired. And two - still not sure about the limits and boundaries this Thor had with the previous Loki.

So instead he slithers his way out of Thor’s bear-like grip and changes back into his normal clothes. Thor was still dead to the world, so Loki figured it was no harm to just leave him be and go explore the ship for some food by himself. The rest of the ship members that were awake didn’t spare him much attention. It wasn’t until he made it to the pantry that someone finally addressed him.

The small…rat? No, Thor said he wasn’t a rat….a raccoon! Yes, that’s right!

Rocket approached with ears low and a little apprehension to his words, “So uh…how was last night?”

Oh, he clearly knew.

“Is he like that every night?”

Rocket made a grimace, “Not _every_ night. Just…most nights.”

Loki set down the fruit he had found for himself. He could feel a burning heat start to rise in him, and he was sure Rocket heard its approach from the venom dripping in his words, “Why have you not taken him to a healer yet?”

Rocket raised his hands, “Woah now, you need to calm down Princess, ok? Look, you may think Thor is a mess now, but you should have seen him when we found him on Earth. The guy was a total mess!”

“How so?”

The raccoon shook his hand and slid a tiny paw down his face, “Oh man, he was drinking himself to death. Could barely go a few minutes being sober.  Stopped taking care of himself, his belly was almost dragging on the floor. He didn’t even ever leave his house!”

The expression on Loki’s face was enough for Rocket to nod his head in agreement, “Yea, it was _that_ bad. So don’t be trying to tell us we aren’t doing enough for him. He’s gotten a lot better since then. Sure, he still has his nightmares and drinks a little too much on occasion, but he’s made a lot of progress.”

Rocket began to make himself a sandwich, slapping on a little too much mayo, more than Loki thought was necessary anyway.

“What made him like that?”

Rocket sighed, sounding like he was annoyed by the very question, as if Loki was stupid to even ask it. “You. You are what made him like that. Your death fucked him up, and then him failing to kill Thanos after that fucked him up even worse.”

Rocket took a bite from his meal and spoke through a mouth full of food, “That’s why we just don’t talk about you or Thanos. Especially _you_ though. It just turns him back into a mess.”

Rocket made to leave the room but Loki blocked his way, “Tell me how I died.”

Rocket became suspicious, a hard glint glowing in his beady eyes, “You _really_ don’t remember?”

Loki licked his lips but continued with the charade, “No, I don’t. And I can’t ask Thor about it cause…well…”

Rocket understood what he was implying, and seemed to agree it was better he not ask Thor about that specific topic. He shook his head, “Look, I don’t know much about what happened. I wasn’t there, and all I know is what Thor has occasionally said while he was drunk. But the story goes, Thanos showed up to take the infinity stone from you. And in the process, he choked you and then snapped your neck. While in front of Thor. That’s it.”

_That’s it_? That just left Loki with more questions than answers! If he had the infinity stone while Thanos came for him… _why didn’t he use it?_ Self-preservation was always his endgame, and Loki knew better than anybody he could have escaped that situation if he wanted too. He could have shape-shifted, used his magic, used the infinity stone; there were endless possibilities. So why didn’t he take them?

Loki’s mind couldn’t make sense of it. There must be a logical reason. Perhaps the Loki of this dimension was weak? Maybe he wasn’t smart? No, that’s nonsense; Loki is always too smart for his own good.

A headache was already forming behind his eyes as he made his way back to the main part of the ship. Just before he entered he heard Drax call out Thor’s name in greeting before everything went quiet.

Loki peeked around the corner. Oh…oh god, Thor looked…there wasn’t a word strong enough to explain how miserable Thor looked. Tears welling up in his eyes, his entire body hanging as if barely able to stand, he even looked like he aged another 500 years.

Loki stepped out from his hiding spot just as Thor started to speak “I dreamt-“ he cut off  spying Loki watching him. The entirety of his demeanor changed within a heartbeat. His eyes lit up while a smile creased his face. Then that sudden hit of realization shook him, his eyes drew towards Loki’s neck. Ah yes, he wasn’t sure if he was just seeing things now. It was apparently a habit Thor had formed, checking Loki’s neck to see if it was mangled from Thanos’ grip.

Even so, the sight of Loki’s unharmed throat wasn’t enough and Thor picked up a compass and launched it at Loki’s head. The god of mischief catches it and rolls his eyes, “You don’t need to throw things at me to see if I’m real.”

“Yes I do.” Thor quipped back. He was happy...happy it all wasn’t some nightmare like he thought it was. He must have been so frightened to wake up without Loki there in bed with him…now the younger prince felt guilty for leaving without him.

Peter came marching in, whistling through his teeth to gather everyone’s attention, “Alright listen up! Everyone take their seats and buckle up, get ready to jump!”

The crew scattered to their seats, hastily fastening their seat belts and gripping their chairs tight. Thor grabbed Loki by the wrist and led him to the last open chair, shoving him down and buckling his straps for him, “Here Loki, take this seat.”

“You know Thor, I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to coddle me.” He said it as a matter of fact, not to be mean. And Thor didn’t seem hurt by it; rather he smiled at the lack of appreciation in Loki’s voice. As snide as Loki could be, that’s what Thor loved most about him.

“Hey, Thor! Take your seat buddy, come on! We’re all waiting for you.”

Loki raised a brow at Peter’s tone of voice, “You’re really gonna let him speak to you like that, Thor?”

Peter turned in his seat, “Uh yea, he is gonna let me talk like that to him, cause I’m the captain of this ship.”

Loki didn’t spare the man a glance, keeping his eyes trained on Thor, “Y’know, we could always just gut him here and now and take off with his ship for ourselves.”

“Y’know I can hear you right?!”

Loki flicked his hair over his shoulder, “Peter I would really appreciate it if you wouldn’t intrude upon my brother’s and I’s private conversation.”

Peter’s mouth twisted in his anger, “My name is Starlord.”

Loki scoffed, “You can’t believe I would actually call you that, right? It’s ridiculous.”

“How is it ridiculous?”

“You’re not even a Lord.”

“Yes I am!”

“What are you the Lord of then?” Loki waited patiently for an answer. Peter stumbled over his words for an answer.

“He is Lord of the stars.” Drax intervened.

“Yes!” Peter quickly hopped on to the lifeboat given to him, “I am Lord of the stars.”

“So if I kill you, _I_ would then be Lord of the stars.” Loki deadpans.

Peter spat back “No! No, that’s not how that works!”

Drax slowly looked over to Peter, “Actually, I think that _is_ how it works.”

Peter threw his hands in the air, “I’m done! We are moving on from this conversation, and we are going to find Gamora.” With that they jumped through space at the speed of light arriving safely at their new destination.

They ended up on a planet near Jotunheim. Luckily they didn’t actually _end up_ _in_ Jotunheim since Loki didn’t have the fondest memories of his…homeland, if that is what you would call it. This new location was mostly mountains and rocks; even the massive city they anchored in was built entirely out of stone. Many homes were simply carved out of the mountainside the city rested against, others were massive architectures of stone carved and cemented together into beautiful spirals and mansions. Or well….they looked like mansions to Loki and the rest of the crew, but only because this was a home to giants. The town’s inhabitants were like skyscrapers that blocked out the sun as they passed by. Thankfully, these giants were incredibly peaceful in nature however, so there was truly nothing much to fear.

“I am Groot.”

Loki jerked his head in Groot’s direction, “I agree with the tree, are you sure Gamora is here? It seems a rather odd place for her to visit.”

“Hold on a second, you speak Groot too?” Rocket was taken aback.

Loki shrugged like it was hardly a big deal, “It was an elective on Asgard.”

“Yea, whatever.” Peter cuts in, “You don’t need to question me, alright? Yes, I’m positive Gamora is here.”

“Well, that’s sort of creepy that you are so positive she is here. I still don’t understand why we are helping you stalk your ex like this.”

Loki could see the vein pulsing in Peter’s forehead, “It’s _not_ stalking and she is _not_ my ex. We are still together she just doesn’t really know that.” The last part was mumbled. “And frankly, I didn’t like it when your brother questioned my authority and I _especially_ don’t like it when you do it.”

Loki had his snide remark ready and hanging on the tip of his tongue, but Thor placed his heavy hands on his shoulders and soothed the anger away. “Please Loki, let’s try to be friends here.”

Loki wasn’t interested in making friends, but remaining civil was indeed probably the best course of action.

Peter motions to everyone “We are splitting up. I’m going with Nebula and we are heading north, Drax and Mantis take east, Groot and Rocket go south, and Loki and Thor head west. Got it?”

Everyone nodded in unison.

“Okay. Disperse.”

They meandered off in their general directions, keeping their eyes peeled for a girl with green skin. Although, Loki and Thor seemed a little bit more intrigued with their surroundings than having any interest in searching for a girl. Loki, surprisingly, has never visited this planet before. They both pointed out things of interest to the other, and laughed at the giant children playing in the streets. There were other races present here too, not just the giants. It seemed this city was a small trading port, and neighboring villages and planet came here to barter their goods.

Loki was especially interested in the little trinkets they had to sell, although he doubted he could buy any since all his money got left behind at the card match that turned into an all out brawl. Maybe he should force Thor to buy him the stuff since he is the reason Loki lost all his treasure.

Something glinted and caught the God of mischief’s eye. He laughed and picked the necklace up to show to Thor. Dangling from the silver chain was a little silver hammer that bore a striking resemblance to Mjolnir.

“Well, look little brother, finally a hammer you can actually wield.”  Loki wanted to punch Thor for that but they laughed in good humor at the joke before Loki returned the jewelry back to its shop owner.

“Speaking of Mjolnir, where is it?” It was one of the first things Loki noticed but wasn’t really sure how to breach. Instead of Mjolnir, Thor carried some massive axe with him now. Loki wondered for a second if perhaps Thor was no longer worthy of the glorious hammer.

Thor scrunched his face, “Do you not remember Hela destroying it?”

“Hela?” Who on Earth was that, and how could Loki be friends with her? If she was capable of destroying Mjolnir she was worthy of being Loki’s friend…or pawn.

Thor became more perplexed, “Hela destroyed our home Loki. She brought forth Ragnarok and she was our sister.”

_Sister?_ Since when did we have a sister?

“And our people were able to survive the tragedy because we saved them.”

“We?” Loki was rather taken aback, “ _We_ stopped her? As in…together…”

Thor scratched his beard, “Loki, I’m rather concerned for you. Your memories seemed almost completely erased. What _do_ you remember happening?”

Oh shit. Was there a safe answer to this? What exactly was Loki suppose to say now? He could mention something from his own past but what if that didn’t happen in _this_ reality?

So instead Loki lied…I mean – it is what he is good at.

“I remember waking up…this man saved me. He must have been the one that brought me back after Thanos…” Loki let himself trail off, thinking that Thanos’ name would push Thor away from seeking any more answers. He was wrong.

“Who was this man Loki? He might have done something to your memories.”

Fuck. “No! No I don’t believe he did, Thor. He was a kind man, he _saved_ my life. I think being dead for so long must have just…damaged something. When I awoke I could remember things of our childhood but hardly anything past that.”

Thor mulled it over quietly, and Loki begged for the man to fall for his trap and move past it. But Thor was just as stubborn as he remembered, “Who was this man? We must find him.”

Loki spluttered, “What? Why? Why would we-“

“I must thank him.” Thor was dead serious, “He brought you back. I must thank him in person, and show how deep my gratitude lies for him.”

Loki was quick on his feet, “I never learned of his name.” There, that would do it. No name, no way to find the man that didn’t even exist.

“You lie to me brother.”

Well, that felt like a punch to the gut. And it threw Loki so off guard he really had nothing to say back. He just stared in silent wonderment as his brother. Thor’s eyes were sharp on him, and he moved to place himself in Loki’s way so he was forced to come to a stop. Loki was planning all his different escapes – he didn’t realize this Thor was so keen. He was perfectly capable of seeing through his brother’s deception; something Loki was wholly unprepared for.

“I know you are hiding the man’s identity Loki. I’m not sure why, but I know you are clever enough to find out even the most hidden secrets of any who cross paths with you. So surely you would be able to uncover his name.”

Loki was irked at how well his brother knew him. It was like Thor had been watching him for all these years…he knew Loki better than what Loki would have liked. No, that’s not entirely true, Loki did strangely like it a bit.

“Correct, brother. I am hiding the man’s identity for very good reasons, and I beg you not to push any further.” He navigated around Thor’s wide figure and continued through the town square. Thor did not bring up the topic again, but Loki knew his brother was too stubborn to let things end there.

\--------------------------------------------

At Loki’s request, he asked Thor to recount the adventures they shared together from adolescent till Loki’s supposed death. Thor didn’t seem to mind, reminiscing fondly over all the chaos they got themselves into. And Loki appreciated it as well, since it gave him so much more information to work with and plenty of answers to queries floating around in his head.

It seems from the time of their adolescence to when Loki attempted his attack on New York, very few things differed from this reality to Loki’s original one. However, there were some very striking and important changes he took note of. One – Sif was not Thor’s lover. That was a big one, considering the Thor he grew up with was absolutely _crazy_ about Sif, and their affection for each other is what initiated the downward spiral in Loki’s and Thor’s relationship. Perhaps that is why the Thor he sees in front of him now is actually capable of mourning over the loss of his dearest brother.

And two – Thor and Loki _did not_ share a sexual bond with each other. Or…maybe they did, but this Thor did not seem to make any mention of it. But then again – why would he? It was a rather strange thing to bring up in conversation. How could you even say it? “Hey, by the way, do you remember that time we thought it was a good idea to sleep with each other and then just never stopped?”

But it was fascinating…so ever intriguing to Loki. For he will admit, the attack on New York, the sabotage against his brother so Thor could not become King, every other mischievous and cruel act he planned – it was driven by jealousy. Not jealousy to _be_ like Thor – no, jealousy cause he couldn’t _have_ Thor - Sif already made him hers.

But the Loki who lived here before him…what was his reasoning? Was it jealousy too? Or something Loki could never guess?

Darkness was starting to paint the sky midnight blue and stars twinkled upon the canvas. They had not spotted Gamora, but then again they did a terrible job looking for her. They were far more invested in each other, Thor being overly dramatic with his story telling and Loki hanging off his every word. He was not fond of hearing about Jane, but thankfully their time together was short as it had been in his previous reality. Loki was overly amused (although he shouldn’t have been) when Thor recounted the time Loki faked his death only to then take the throne disguised at their father. And he wanted Thor to tell the story of Ragnarok over and over again to him, because he could not help but fall in love with the tale.

It was like he was reliving it all with the Loki from before, taking his memories and somehow making them his. Perhaps somewhere within them he will find an answer. Some sort of explanation as to why he let Thanos end his life, or why he made everyone believe that is what happened. Because Loki himself was not entirely convinced the Loki of this reality was truly dead.

“My dear maiden, your beauty is absolutely breathtaking tonight.” They were words Loki would generally pay no attention too, except they were very much directed at him. He was not offended in the least by the misgendering, he understood quite quickly as to why when he spotted the speaker. A Halfling, half giant and half some other humanoid race. Giants didn’t have separated genders and therefore struggled to distinguish them in other races.

The half giant motioned to the brothel behind him, “Why don’t you leave your _small_ partner there-“ he nodded to Thor “and instead come inside and find yourself a companion who can really satisfy you.”

Thor puffed out his chest and offered a smile – it wasn’t a kind one, more like a nice warning to his offender to choose his next words carefully. “Small? You clearly jest, what part of me do you find small?”

Loki placed a placating hand on Thor’s chest, “He didn’t really mean anything by it Thor, he’s just trying to do his job.”

Two nymphs sauntered their way out with high-pitched giggles leaving their lips, “He’s right. Vordmor is just trying to do his job, and how about you let us do ours? We assure you, you are not at all small to us.” They batted their eyelashes fondly to Thor, jiggling their breasts in hopes to entice him.

Loki felt natural in assuming his brother would take the bait. It was behavior he had grown accustomed to; his brother was always more than willing to share his company with a woman eager to spread her legs. But once again, _this_ Thor kept him on his toes – always proving his assumptions wrong.

All the women got from Thor was an awkward smile horribly disguised as being a confident one. Thor wrapped his hand around Loki’s waist and started to lead the both of them away, “Your offer is very appealing but I think we will just be on our way.”

Loki would have laughed at the stiffness and discomfort his brother showed towards the two women, acting as if he never experienced the advances of women before which Loki knew he did, but Loki was simply too flabbergasted by it all to do anything other than stare at Thor in wonder. The more he saw the less he felt he knew and understood _this_ Thor. If Loki didn’t know any better, he would think this was all some sort of elaborate trick or some shapeshifter posing as his brother. But the matter of the fact is, no one is capable of tricking the God of mischief.

“I can’t believe he thought you were a woman back there.” Thor snickers, clearly saying it cause he knew it would make Loki get riled up.

Loki rolled his eyes, “He’s a giant, he can’t see the different genders, he probably just assumed cause of my long hair I was a female.”

Thor made a face and smirked, “He didn’t think _I_ was a women and I have long hair.”

Loki looked his sibling once over, “No one is gonna mistake you as a female when you have arms like that.”

Thor playfully flexed and they both let their laughter ring out in the night as they walked down the cobblestone path back towards the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little tough to write so I'm sorry if it's not the greatest. But thank you guys so much for all the positive feedback and comments! They really inspired me to keep writing more and I had so much fun reading them!
> 
> If you liked this story, please leave some kudos or bookmark/subscribe so you can get notifications when it updates. Also feel free to leave a nice comment below or ask any questions you might have and I will respond as soon as I am able. <3


End file.
